A Gellyroll Mishap and Thoughts on Starting Again

A few pages from the 5x8" moleskine in pink gellyroll.

After 60+ days of 100+ temps this summer, it dropped to the 90s and the pool was lovely again. After swimming I hung out in the sun while the girls splashed. I drew the mandala and the lighter pink words.

Then I gracefully dropped the pink fine tip gellyroll on the cement.

Tip first.

The ink proceeded to flow like a junky fountain pen, rolling out but not actually dripping. It was all very gobby, yet entrancing. I was curious to see what would happen.

I kept writing and drew patterns and dots, mesmerized by the dots. I kept drawing on the facing page. That's 16" of goopy marker!

I wrote about the cityscapes I used to draw. I put all of them on the table this weekend and got overwhelmed. Seeing them dated mid 2010 psyched me out. Like, I don't think I can draw lines that straight any more, or little windows that cute.

Why did I stop drawing little cities? How do I start again? How do you get the mindset of an earlier project back? Can you? I'm mad at myself for stopping. I feel like if I would have drawn more cityscapes, even just a little at a time, I might not have lost the track I was on. 

I kept drawing with this goopy pen for DAYS and it is starting to run out (1000x faster than usual).

With art, it could be keep it up or lose your memory of it. Not the literal "how" but the mindset you need to be in to create what you created. Like writing 75% of a story, leaving it sit for a few years, and trying to pick up all of the pieces and characters. You can get back on a bicycle and remember how to ride, but not so easy to start pedalling again on an old project. You lose your flow.